The Two Most Fundamental Steps in Breaking Out of an Abusive Relationship

My goal is to find useful material to help women and men become victorious over verbal abuse. If I can get out of an abusive relationship so can you.

I have used these two steps myself to get out my abusive marriage of 25 years.

Thank you for posting this article Dr. King.

Terry

 

The Most Fundamental Steps in Breaking Out of an Abusive Relationship

1.) Document Your Experience

Document, Document, Document! Susan Murphy-Milano’s work influenced my life in the 90’s when she so potently expressed the value in documenting the abuse. However, at that time, I heard her coaching as a means for me to display and/or evidence the abuse to others…in order to protect my children and myself.

Fast-forward a couple of decades. Today, I add another profound value in documenting the abuse. Doing this one thing solidifies your understanding of your experience. Through the mere connecting personal events chronologically, you can step out of the river and experience the flow of water with detached awareness. (please read that again)

Through this perspective, you can more objectively assess your circumstances and options. And moreover, from this place you are open to insights expressing your higher good…your best interest…what’s most right for you.

You have a platform within you that shows you your truth…just because (that’s how healing works). The natural tendency is to return to homeostasis. The human psyche is charmed by health and well-being.

If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, I invite you to step out of the FOG (fear/obligation/guilt) engendered through the emotional exploitation and bask in the light.

2.) Break Your Silence

Never underestimate the power of your speaking your truth. You hear it for what it is when you speak of it outside of the relationship itself.

So for example, when you open up the abuse dialogue to your healthcare provider or when you go to the police, or you go to your clergy or you confide in a family member or friend, your understanding of the domestic abuse can transition from confusion to clarity.

In some respect, this action in and of itself also aids in your stepping out of the river. Your perspective is through a lens created that is untainted by the direct influence of the abusive relationship itself.

Another way of saying this is: the toxicity within it becomes clearer to you, because you are interfacing with it through non-intoxicated eyes that participate in it through “love,” “habit,” “blindness” or some conscious and/or unconscious “need.”

It’s my gift to you if this article inspires you to document the abuse and break your silence. As always however, when in an abusive relationship be mindful of safety first. Seek counsel through professionals knowledgeable about domestic abuse when implementing any strategies to end it.

For more information about the dynamics of intimate partner abuse, visithttp://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/spousal_abuse_tx.php orhttp://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/breaking_abuse_cycle.phpand claim Free Instant Access to The 7 Realities of Verbal Abuse. Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D. helps people worldwide recognize, end and heal from domestic abuse.

© Dr Jeanne King — Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention

Harness Your Will: Motivate Change, Joy, Love, Power, VISION! — Storyweaving

With thanks to Gee, an inspirational blogger, for turning me on to this video. Woke me up today, so I’m sharing it with you. “You’ve gotta want to succeed as bad as you wanna breathe!” RISK, LEAP, JOY! Your life matters. You can love the story of your life…. Find out how to inspire […]

via Harness Your Will: Motivate Change, Joy, Love, Power, VISION! — Storyweaving

Catharsis

 

 

While I was writing my book, More Than My Share of Pain, I felt such extreme emotions. It was so powerful and painful at the same time. It felt like I was giving birth. There were moments of high elation and periods of deep depression. I felt a natural high for several weeks during my writing and then I crashed. I had to have my husband sit besides me at the computer and help me write my story. I could not do it alone it was too painful. I have now learned to ask for help. In getting this book out there I needed help from many people. Support from friends, an accountability partner, an editor, a writing coach, a graphic designer, writers who wanted to publish their work and a program that I could duplicate to get my book on Amazon. With the help of all these people I was able to make this happen.

After my book was published I wanted to write about something beautiful, wonderful, innocent…I needed to counteract the feelings that I had just openly exposed to the world. So, I decided to start writing The Adventures of McDuff the most wonderful puppy in the world even though he is now 4 years old.

Now I am conflicted with how to proceed. My original plan was too write a series of six books regarding events that have occurred in my life so that I could pass on experience, strength and hope to women and men. This happy go lucky innocent book was not in the line up. However, I am letting go and letting God. This is what  I need to do to make me happy and to feel good inside.

The first day of my blog…August 1st

thedoorway

 

 

Sharing is the doorway through which we discover and impart our special gifts. In return we gain self-worth and a sense of who we are.

All I can do is share my experience, strength and hope.

I’m writing this book to offer my story and to help other women
rescue themselves from the physical pain – as well as the mental and
spiritual distress that comes from enduring a verbally abusive
relationship.
I want those that have suffered verbal abuse to know that they too can find peace and happiness.
That is what I share in my book – the story of my abusive marriage, the story of how I eventually got out and the story of my renewal – my second life. 

Please read my new book on Amazon and post an honest review.

Terry